We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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