our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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