Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize