i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
