Don't you send me to vm
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
