you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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