Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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