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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

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• (213): View more from California

  the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂

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