Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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