She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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