Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize