Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
