Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
