as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
