You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
