Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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