She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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