I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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