Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.

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(623): View more from Arizona

We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight

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(602): View more from Arizona

I think mounting someone proves who's house this is

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.

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(407): View more from Florida

Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.

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(323): View more from California

You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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(989): View more from Michigan

So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.

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(850): View more from Florida

When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.

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