apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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