You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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