She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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