We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
