Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize