I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
