I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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