His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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