How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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