i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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