I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
