god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
