So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
