No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
