Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
