It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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