i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
