Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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