i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
