im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
