my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
