i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
