I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
