hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
