was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
