I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
