Do vagina's smell?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize