Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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