In the future we'll all be gay
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
