a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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