dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
