Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
