Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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