Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
