I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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