dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
