accomplished twins. life is a go
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
