Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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