it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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