So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
