So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
