don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
