I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
