The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
