You really coming over, don't trick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize