i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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