I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
