ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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