Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
