I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
