One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
