Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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