who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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