glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The uberlube is also flammable
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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