Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize