This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
