I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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