Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
